The fabulous Kate Clinton has a column on marriage -- Veiled Threats. Homos as weapons of destruction?

On May 15, 2002, six members of the House of Representatives introduced a proposed constitutional amendment that says, "marriage shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman." Don't throw your rice pudding at me until I finish telling you why I'm all for this prenuptial agreement. Hint: my "We Don't Want Your Stinkin' Marriage" campaign never caught on.

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As if heterosexuals all by themselves were not completely capable of degrading marriage through divorce, pricey annulments, child abuse, domestic violence. Straight people have been doing the aerial bombing of marriage for quite some time. Now gay people are the robot drones sent in to do the hand-to-hand combat and mop up operations in the Canna caves?

As if homosexuals were that powerful. Although, come to think of it, we have been recently credited with the destruction of the US Catholic Church through bouts of "ecclesiastic flamboyance." Sidebar: you just wish sometimes that the Church protected children as much as they protect fetuses.

Add to our degradation of same-old-sex marriage, our devastation of the military and it should become clear to someone - hullo, Donald Rumsfeld - that we are an underused weapon of capital M and small m, mass destruction. We're a veritable Triple Crown: The Priestness, The Breeder's Cup, The Kandahar Derby.